December 1, 2023

The opposite night time, when my girlfriend and I sat within the kitchen having fun with a cuppa tea, I received up mid-conversation to place away a pack of cat treats. “I’m nonetheless listening!” I shouted as I walked into the adjoining room.

She saved speaking, and I saved puttering round. I apologized afterward, as I felt I’d been a bit impolite. Fortunately, it didn’t trouble her. However I spotted I putter usually, doing small jobs in a relaxed method. And it’s not simply along with her however throughout each kitchen-adjacent dialog with anybody, or after I’m on the cellphone, or after I’m internet hosting folks…you get the thought. Whereas it seems like I’ve tuned out the dialog, transferring round and tidying up truly helps me be an lively listener.

I really like my kitchen. It’s a really lively house that’s completely untidy in a homely, sensible method. I discover cooking and making cocktails an excellent inventive outlet, particularly after I’m entertaining. I’ve made my kitchen as ADHD-friendly as attainable, holding the stuff I exploit most seen and accessible whereas dancing about.

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British customized dictates that we provide (power feed) our friends a drink or cuppa tea once they arrive, typically making the kitchen our first port of name. When my girlfriend pops by, she’ll perch on a stool on the breakfast bar (a stool I instinctively dodge or stroll into each time I go it moderately than tuck it away). I’ll make the drinks. She’ll discuss. I’ll hear. Then, I’ll get an amazing urge to reorganize my cabinets.

I’m not bored with what she’s saying — that lady may give a blow-by-blow account of a puddle drying, and I might grasp on her each phrase. It’s simply that I abruptly discover all these little duties, and it’s like an itch! I actually can’t assist myself — I merely should do them then and there.

So, now I discover myself standing there, doing my greatest to not interrupt her and follow my lively listening abilities with out by accident stabbing myself within the hand with the paring knife I’m ‘discreetly’ sharpening.

By the point she finishes telling me about her day, the realm round me seems like an IKEA showroom, but the remainder of the kitchen remains to be scruffy!

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Then it’s my flip to speak, and all my exercise ceases as she has such charming listening eyes and a radiant smile.

General, I believe my kitchen tidying is an efficient ADHD behavior. For instance, I’ll discover I’ve run out of fresh cooking knives, wash those I’ve left beside some bowls, after which begin cleansing the bowls. The following factor you realize, I’ve washed all of the pots and pans and blitzed all the room in a whirlwind of disinfectant wipes, blissfully forgetful of the ice cream quietly melting within the subsequent room, nonetheless bereft of the spoon I went to fetch within the first place. Then I’ll notice I’ve forgotten the spoon, return into the kitchen, get distracted by a spot I missed cleansing as I open the cutlery drawer…and right here we go once more!

Is that this an ADHD factor or one thing that everybody else does?

Lively Listening: Subsequent Steps

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